I don’t care if most of the game is set in damp and in freezing weather, I’m putting Eivor through hell, he’s not wearing clothes for my entire Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla journey. If you like, you can watch all of this on Twitch (CruzTseros21) so, please make sure to give me a follow and don’t miss out.
As soon as I realized that Ubisoft allowed me to have more customization options than expected, I started by giving Eivor the basics. I styled his hair, beard, gave him some tattoos and then started to pick out his equipment. Then I realized, there was nothing stopping me from just not equipping equipment.
As a result, I started raiding in the freezing cold snow with basically nothing but my hidden blade on. Imagine being a guard in the town I just invaded. It’s freezing cold, you’re hungry, wet and tired from staying up all night at your post. You hear horns in the distance, damn it “INTRUDERS!” you well.
As you rush to the impending battle, the toll of the night and your lack nutrition start to weigh down on you but you press on. There’s a horrible glare rebounding off the white snow, as the sun starts to shine its rays upon the land but they’re still too weak to help the cold.
Then you see your enemy running towards you, a giant screaming and wielding a huge man-size axe. This alone would make you shiver but you’re already doing that from the cold. All you want is to survive, sit in front of a warm fire and eat some food but this is your opponent. To make matters worse, he’s f#%king naked (yes, in this weather), decked out in tattoos and is likely to not only slaughter you but also tea-bag your dying body after doing so.
The last thing you see as you lie in the snow, bleeding out, no longer hungry as your stomach has been removed by my axe, you lay colder than before and see as I squat above your face with my dangling “male bits” watching as they are lowered toward your eyes. You die the moment they touch your eyelids. I’d hate to be that guy but luckily, I’m going to be playing as the naked Viking raider!